Looking for exchange. My strange relation to music and sound.

I got a single attack when I was 13/14 around. When I was 33, in 2021, I started to get tonic-clonic seizure and absence.

Been in treatment for about 3 years, first 2 years treated with Valproate, then with Eslicarbazepine acetate after 4day video EEG done for diagnosis. The video EEG was inconclusive, not according to the handbook, but since medication does work for me, it should be epilepsy (doctors statement).

My absence have been small ones where it felt like my conscious drifts in the background, almost like being pulled under water, accompanied by audio hallucinations. They also have been triggered by low frequency sounds.

Valproate stopped the tonic-clonic seizure, but the absence persisted, 6-8 a day.

This may sound weird, but I want to share it:

I played a simple video game (Powerwash Simulator) , while I was listening to a meditative/shamanistic music (from Heilung) and got into a trance like state. In this state an absence hit me, but this time my conscious pushed back midway and prevented the absence. I was confused at first and took me a moment to understand what happened.

Later the day my pushed back again, but this time I was not gaming and not listening to music. The next couple of days the absence were getting less and then vanished completely.

This summer the tonic-clonic and the absence came back. I have new medication and tonic clonic are hopefully in check, the absence on the other hand are still there and stronger, sometimes getting pretty spicy and close to a full on tonic-clonic

I don't know when I get triggered by sound, but I know the pattern of sound which does trigger me. A white noise with fast repeating sound, like bubbling noise from a boiling kettle.

I get seizures independent from sounds, at least I believe so. I feel when my brain is "tingly" getting into a sensitive state. It's all weird.

Music helps, at least partially, to ground me, to fight back

Fun fact: I am German and German native speaker. After a tonic clonic seizure I speak English for at least 20minutes. I am not aware of it and no matter what I try I can't switch to German, only after my brain got a bit of rest. The ambulance is always confused.

I am not looking for medical advice, just exchange.