Long term side effects of Keppra

I, a 22 yr old female have been taking Levetiracetam (generic Keppra) 500mg -2 times daily for around 6 years. Before that I was on Phenytoin (Dilantin) 100mg -3 times daily for about 2 years. On Dilantin I was experiencing unwanted side effects such as eye/eyelid twitching, hand and foot tremors, gingival overgrowth, and more. On top of that my seizures had increased and become more frequent. That’s when my doctor put me on Keppra. And it has worked. Kinda. I was having tonic clonic seizures mainly while asleep but sometimes while awake. Since the med change I haven’t had any other grand mals. Over the years deeply traumatic events have occurred in my life which caused a depressive spiral for a good long while. Time passed and I got “better”. Or at least what seemed better. I’ve recently been going to therapy to help my mental health and to learn how to cope. My therapist (upon learning I have epilepsy and take medicine) was immediately concerned that what I am experiencing are side effects of my medication. A light clicked in my head. I finally thought maybe it wasn’t all me. With reflection I can’t remember the last time I felt like me. Where I felt normal or even just okay. You see the whole time I’ve been on Keppra my dose has never changed, I’ve never had any labs or blood work, EEGs or studies. Nothing. Nada. All the meanwhile I had been using marijuana. On and off for several years but as of recently my consumption had increased. I decided to try and stop to see if it would improve my mood or other functioning. However that wasn’t exactly the case. My sleep was the first thing I noticed. Marijuana effects your REM sleep during your cycle and once my body was withdrawing I assume, my dreams were insane. Which I had expected. But I would wake up numerous times a night and I would feel an epileptic fog. Not so much the feeling I would get after a tonic clonic seizure, but still I could tell something was off. Couldn’t focus my eyes, confusion, and fatigue. My doses had to be exact. On the dot. If not I would feel sick. Trembling, nauseous, lightheaded. Before I had stopped consuming marijuana that wasn’t so much an issue. If I overslept or forgot for a couple hours or however long I was fine. I was so extremely tired and almost felt like my head was underwater. I told my therapist in my next session how I was feeling and she suggested I was most likely self medicating with weed because it was helping neurological issues that weren’t getting met fully with my anti-seizure. Needless to say I only went about a week without smoking but I felt I had to try in case I was “lying” to myself. The amount I’m taking is significantly less than what I was because I could tell I was leaning heavily onto it when I was sad and just didn’t want to feel it. Since then I will only take a little bit every other day or two days when I’m feeling a little funky. The tremors in my hands have stayed. And I’m sort of scatter brained. I feel like I did when I was 16 and I hate it. Knowing now that my medicine is most likely the main cause of my depression and anxiety, along with a flat emotionless state, weight management struggles, and others has been eye opening yet frustrating at the same time. I live in a small town with doctors who don’t necessarily care about side effects as long as the main concern is “fixed”. I don’t have insurance and it has proven extremely difficult to try and hunt down. I was recommended to get a neurologist appointment once I have insurance to get the proper tests and diagnosis I need. Medical marijuana was also offered to me since I have experience with it helping me. It’s all a lot and confusing. I’m working on getting all my ducks in a row for medical help but if anyone can relate to me or offer advice it would be greatly appreciated. I know this was word vomit but I have no one to really talk to about all of this on a personal level who truly and deeply understands what I’m going through.