A Bit About Me...

My name is Esmeralda, and I've had epilepsy since is was 14 years old. I've basically been living with this terminal disease for 10 years now. I have grand mal seizures and they're really bad. I've been told by people close to me that when I have a seizure I go unconscious.

Severe memory loss

I've hit my head so many times on hardwood floors, in the shower, on tile, on concrete and, every single time I do I feel like I'm losing my memory little by little. I'm up to the point to where I can't remember people, or the lyrics to a song , or I even forget stuff very easily within like 2 minutes. Yet, the doctors and neurologists don't know what causes my seizures because flashing lights isn't a trigger. Neither is alcohol, or smoking. And when I have these seizures I never get a warning that lets me know it's about to happen.

A traumatic experience on June 7, 2022

On June 7th of 2022, I ended up having a heart attack out of nowhere, which caused me to go into seizure-mode and I had a near-death experience, which first responders were able to help me through. During the time I was down, I had a dark and mystic experience where I heard screaming voices, saw things, all of which has since left me very scared and freaked out.

The effects following my near-death experience

Weight loss

After I had that near-death experience, I just rapidly lost weight in that same month, just out of nowhere. I went from 115 lbs to exactly 100lbs. I'm a 5ft woman and I'm not really sure if that weight is healthy for me or not. But I have been feeling terrible, health-wise, ever since that happened to me.

Difficulty getting a doctors appointment

My medicine doesn't control my seizures (even though I'm on the highest dosage they can give me), and my neurologist won't give me a sooner appointment even after I told them about what happened to me. I have to wait until sometime in the middle of August. I don't know what to do anymore, and I don't know who to talk to either because everyone talk to about my epilepsy and my near-death experience, They just end up looking at me like I'm crazy or they don't know what to say. I also have a VNS in my chest that doesn't help at all either. At this point I just feel like I'm dying slowly.

Me

Acknowledging the tough road of epilepsy

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