Can You Have a Relationship When You Have Epilepsy?

"Is having a relationship while having epilepsy possible?" This question has haunted me ever since I was a child.

I was diagnosed with epilepsy at ten years old, and back then, I often wondered if I would ever have a relationship. In my mind, I was convinced that I would stay single, living with my parents indefinitely. After all, who would want to date a “sick” girl like me, right?

Finding love with epilepsy

Well, I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I entered college, I received a few proposals, and it was a shock. Who would have thought that I’d be the one approached?

I’d always seen myself in a negative light because of my condition. My first love came along, and initially, I turned him down. I felt I had to explain my situation—how I had both epilepsy and dystonia.

I looked “normal” on the outside back then, but I knew that my dystonia was progressively worsening. He understood and still wanted to date me. That first love wasn’t forever, but it taught me something invaluable.

Confidence, self-worth, and open conversations

Over the years, I gained confidence. I learned to love my body, even with all the challenges it faced. I realized I didn’t have to settle just because of my condition.

Being sick doesn’t make me any less deserving of respect or affection. I know my worth, and I am not willing to accept being treated as “less than.”

After my first love, I was single for a few years. During that time, I went on dates and learned how to communicate openly with people about my condition.

I didn’t put my disability in my bio; instead, I would chat with someone first. After a few hours or days of conversation, I would share my Instagram account with them.

My Instagram has a large following, and anyone who visits my page quickly learns about my condition. Some people ask questions, which I’m always happy to answer. Some lose interest after learning about my epilepsy, and others become good friends.

I don’t take rejection personally because I know it’s their choice. More importantly, I know my own worth and don’t feel desperate for a relationship. I’m happy on my own, and if someone loves me for who I am, that’s just a bonus.

Finding someone who understands

That’s how I met my current boyfriend. I wasn’t specifically looking for a relationship but was clear about the qualities I wanted in a partner.

Some people might think that, as someone with a disability, I shouldn’t have high standards. But why shouldn’t I? I made that mistake in my first relationship, believing I couldn’t be picky because of my condition.

Looking back, I see how harmful that mindset was. I deserve to look for the qualities I value in a partner, just like anyone else.

When I shared my Instagram handle with him, he took the time to go through my page and learn about my condition. He even researched epilepsy and dystonia on his own before asking me questions.

Before our first date, I told him what to do if I had a seizure in his presence. He was understandably nervous, but he came prepared.

He learned about my seizure triggers and made sure to avoid them whenever we were together. That, to me, was a wonderful quality.

So, can someone with a disability like epilepsy have a relationship? Absolutely. We are not any less than able-bodied people.

We have every right to choose a partner who loves and respects us for who we are. Having epilepsy doesn’t diminish our worth or our right to find love.