Since Seizures Began

At first, I was only taking medication now and then. Then, I started taking it every time I played football, so I had to give that up 😔. It got to the point where I needed it even if I walked too fast or at night in my sleep, which ruined my relationship, as my partner couldn’t handle the stress and worry. Now, I’m alone and don’t go out much, as I've had so many seizures outside. I'm left with scars all over my face and even knocked out my teeth! Depression has worsened, and I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

Once, I woke up in the hospital and phoned my mother to let her know I was okay, thinking I’d been there one night. I’d actually been in for five days and have no memory of it! 🫣 I get shakes sometimes and can’t even use my phone. Jerks have twice made me throw a hot cup of tea over myself. I no longer know how I’m supposed to live or do simple things during an episode, whether it’s seizures, jerks, shakes, stutters, or even confusion when I don’t know what I’m doing or how to do it. These symptoms used to be warnings of an oncoming seizure, but now I’m getting them more often without the seizure.

I’m on five different medications and have started a new one, which I hope helps. If not, I just don’t know how I’m supposed to live with this. Has anyone gone through a similar experience and can offer advice?